Are you a Martha or Maxine?

*Martha's Way* 

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 

*Maxine's Way * 

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! 

*Martha's Way*

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. 

*Maxine's Way * 

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year. 

*Martha's Way*

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.  

*Maxine's Way * 

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you. 

*Martha's Way*

If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." 

*Maxine's Way * 

If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!" 

*Martha's Way*

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.  

*Maxine's Way * 

Celery? Never heard of it! 

*Martha's Way*

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.  

*Maxine's Way * 

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't. 

*Martha's Way*

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.  

*Maxine's Way * 

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! 

*Martha's Way*

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.  

*Maxine's Way * 

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. 

*Martha's Way*

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.  

*Maxine's Way * 

Leftover wine????????? HELLO !!!!!!! 

As usual, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.  Really ... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?